Insanity

Author's Note: Just a little rant I composed in the ten minutes or less between physics and Algebra. Also please note I am not sucicidal in any way.

I’m hovering on the edge of insanity. One minute I couldn’t be happier and the next I feel like God turned his back on me. I’m slowly slipping off the cliff and there are only a few people who can stop my hopeless slide. Unfortunately, none of them can help me in the middle of physics. Why’d I have to leave my stuff at home? I thought I grabbed it. Oh, Amy probably moved it on me. God really must hate me. What have I done? I’m trying my hardest and nothing I do seems to be good enough anymore. I’m falling further and further down into the deep black pit. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs DOES ANYBODY EVEN CARE ABOUT MY SANITY??? But I don’t, because I can’t. Because if I did, it would prove I’m crazier than I previously thought. I want to runaway and hide from school. If I dropped one thing I could make it through the rest. The problem being first and formost I have to attend school. Well, technically I could drop out, but that’s not likely and I want to finish high school. There is no way I’d drop the musical. That is my one shining beacon of happiness, the reason the other things haven’t dragged me past the point of no return. If I didn’t have the musical I’d be lost. However, my parents would absolutely refuse to let me drop Cross Country. A fire and brimstone hell is more likely to freeze over. Despite what I say I do like Cross Country, it’s just hard. I can’t quit my job because it’s rather apparent that Brian doesn’t regard e-mails as important. I could lose my job, I don’t need the money. I just don’t know how to quit. I haven’t really begun to do anything NHS related yet, I’m too busy doing all of my above listed things.