Just Be Yourself

I know who I am, at least, I'm pretty sure of it. I just wish more people would figure out who I am already.

Many people see me as a quiet goody two shoes who will gladly sit at home every weekend night with a book or movie. They think I'm sweet and angelic and wouldn't dare go to a drinking party, especially one filled with strangers.

However, I also could not be the opposite of that. I couldn't go over to to a party every night of the week and get hellas crunk on a regular basis. I wouldn't keep alcohol in my refrigerator or bring puking guys into my room.

I am in between. I do like to have quiet nights alone with a book or movie, but not every night. I'd gladly go to parties, even if I had to be the designated driver. Some one just needs to ask me, or let me know where parties are.

Unfortunately, people have difficulty seeing my bad side. Maybe its because I'm shy. I don't act like a person who would get drunk on occasion. Generally I hold myself to high standards. I generally try to dress well and I'm polite and alert. Does my common sense and self respect prevent me from having college fun?

Sometimes I wish I could hide behind a mask, that I could be a raving party girl (after I've gotten my homework done) and show people I know how to have a good time. But masks have never really fit me well.

Nothing On

There is nothing on TV worth watching on Wednesday nights. The only things on are fully disgusting shows or re-runs, or the end of movies.

For instance, I went channel surfing and found Toddlers and Tiaras. I absolutely hate pageants and pageant moms, so watching the show is an easy way to make me value my mother. I am eternally grateful that I was not subjected to this kind of torture. Normally I would have just watched this show, as I have the past two weeks, but TLC or my cable was having problems that made this already scary show even scarier. Seriously demonic stage moms twitching like the a possessed demon is frightening. I'm going to blame TLC, or just a bad connection from the satelite on campus because the channels on either side were working just fine.

I tried every trick my tech savy father would have used. I tried to tighten the connection, I re did the connection, I refound the channels. Nothing worked.

So I channel surfed. I found the last 10 minutes of Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Yay, I can watch Borromir, a great character, DIE!). I found the last half hour~45min of The Princess Diaries (So most of the funny bits and Julie Andrews parts are over--the boring Mia finding herself bits).

I finally have come across something more terrifying than Toddlers with Crazy Moms. I found a History Channel Documentary on hell. The problem is I've seen very little History. There is some history to some obscure beliefs from various cultures, but when a History Channel Documentary is actively wondering if some Volcano in Africa is a true portal to hell and comparing it to Dante's inferno (Which was filled with mostly ironies and little actual fire) I draw a fine line.

For anyone wanting information on the actual biblical Hell allow me to direct you to a great youtuber's video on it.



So, yeah, I'm stuck in my own version of hell until cable works properly.

In other news I might have a snow day tomorrow.

You raised me well, too well

Last night I had a breakthrough: My mom and I had an honest discussion about my upcoming (well, 3 years away) wedding to my boyfriend.

There were problems, no arguments, just problems.

My mother doesn't realize that when she raised me with good taste she also took out a lot of the 'practicality' she has.

Some examples: Having a reception in a gym, while practical for size,location and cost effectiveness is not cool, in my opinion.

I don't think walking down a side aisle is cool then out the other side is cool, especially because family will probably be sitting center.

DIY Everything seems a bit extreme and unreliable to me, as I'm a perfectionist if I'm doing it myself.

I don't find most reception halls tacky.

I really don't want to get married in a church, especially my parish because of said side ways church problem. Not getting married in a church is out of the question.

I don't want my reception in the local hotel.

That's what I realized last night as we finally discussed my wedding. Normally I wouldn't feel so bad about some of these ideas, but recently my fiance's mom had a relatively large wedding reception that seemed to cost way more than what my mom is willing to spend on my wedding. I hate to make this sound like a competition, but I feel my wedding should be better(or at least equal to) than hers.

That sounds really bitchy or bridezilla-esque, but I mean, I want a nice wedding, and (from the few pictures I've seen) she had a nice wedding.

Part of this is, I'm not entirely sure what I want yet, but I know I want my wedding to be nice, and when she constantly suggests DIY this and "We could do that ourselves" it gets a little frustrating. Maybe this wouldn't be such a problem if her wedding hadn't been entirely DIY (seriously she only had flowers and photography professionally done, and I'm not even sure about the flowers...)

I'm not saying my mom's wedding was nice, I'm just saying that we have a bigger budget, let's show it off a little.