Eep!

I'm freaking out here! I'm losing my frakking mind! AHHHHH! Okay today has been one long roller coaster for me and my writing today....

It started when I was wandering around Fanfiction.net and I thought "Ooh I'll see if that great Sailor Moon Fanfic by Alicia Blade updated recently..." So I go to look and it hasn't updated, BUT she had a long one shot so I figured "What the heck after my shower I'll settle down with a good cup of tea and read it." So I showered, dressed, made a cup of English Breakfast Tea and started reading away. (here's a link if your interested and since it's VERY AU you don't have to really know Sailor Moon to get it http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4145061/1/Luna_version_42 Any way read it, found it beautiful and noticed something, Alicia Blade got her own website. I Immediately check it out here http://www.aliciablade.com. Searched around a bit and really enjoyed my experience. Alicia Blade is truly amazing and I read some of her bits about the writing process. It got me all inspired and I instantly dove back into my unnamed Seto/Anzu fic. This was my high of the day.

My low came when I was searching around the New Amsterdam forums (which by the way are so addictive)when a link came to this post http://heywriterboy.blogspot.com/2007/07/emily-posts-guide-to-save-our-show.html. So I began to poke around the blog of Writerboy (found here http://heywriterboy.blogspot.com) When I came across this post http://heywriterboy.blogspot.com/2007/04/wherein-kirk-and-spock-make-man-love.html. If you don't want to read the whole thing its understandable but to get my feelings. Anyway, that left me feeling uncreative, angry at myself and him, ashamed and just down right bad. I'd like to think I'm not infringing on copywrited material when I write but the more I delve into how fanfic is viewed by others the worse and worse I feel. I know fanfic isn't the most creative outlet in the history of the world, but it's not all bad. I've read many a good fanfic, but I am fully aware of the crap that's out there. Sometimes I need to get these things out there. I don't feel entitled, I don't think Russel T. Davies was WRONG for sending Rose away, I don't feel I could come up with better ideas, I won't want to fix Supernatural if Dean dies, I don't think that a writer would use a fanfic written by someone else. I would like to entertain the few people who do actually think my writing isn't half bad. However I remember the reaction to when the SS Harmony sank (FYI the nickname for Harry/Hermione shipping) and how people got mad and think that good ol' JK got it wrong. I think the truly rabid fans with bad punctuation, crazy ships and overall insanity give us all a bad name. I won't say Fangirls because Fanboys are just as crazy, albeit over completely different things (Yes, you stuffy concieted posters at Outpost Gallifrey who think New Who is crap I'm talking to you.) and well, I've read guy written fiction and it's very good, technical but good (a perfect example is one of my favorites on my fanfiction.net page called The Truth Behind the Blue Eyes. Note the excessive details in the duels to get what I'm saying about technical). The crazies make the sane ones look bad, kinda like in religions... Fanfic, a religion... Weird. Anyway, now I don't know how I feel about fanfic. I think I'll keep writing it but I'll try to write some original stuff. Moving off this mindless rant.

Anyway as I said above I am addicted to the New Amsterdam Forever forums, which coincidentally also host some Doctor Who forums. I'm Yarsian over at the blue whale pub. Feel free to talk to me if you want. Now if you don't mind please keep your TV on Fox Monday nights from 8-9 to help our ratings, they aren't bad, we're just taking a preemptive strike against anything bad. I am leaving my TV in my room on New Amsterdam and watching it downstairs in HD. Spread the New Amsterdam word. John Amsterdam has lived for 400 years, lets try and make it at least 401!

Hey a long time ago I promised some running stories and have I got one for you. So I had a track meet Monday. I was supposed to run the 1600 meter and that was it. Well as you've probably guessed this isn't as simple as that. Oh no, far too easy right? So I arrive plenty early for the Sophmore and Freshmen only meet. Being the only Sophmore who runs Middle distance I decide to check in with the freshmen of my squad. Only half of them were there... A tells me that AM won't be there till 5... which is great since you know the meet starts at 4 and she's in the first race, the 4x800 meter relay. I tell the coach I know, K, and she calls the Middle Distance Coach DM. He's gonna have me sub in for AM on TOP of my 1600. Okay, my 1600 won't be amazing but hey its the first meet of the season. I'm leading my team in warm-ups when DM finally shows up. He's upset because the 4th member of the relay, J, probably won't be at the meet. He's snappy and bitchy but I put up with it, just smiling and nodding. After the rest of warm ups he asks us if we want to go through with the race and if so who would want to run two legs. Both freshmen say the don't want too before I can say "Not Me". So I say that I could but I can't make promises on my next mile. He's getting mad at all of us. I think he was being unfair, I kept telling him I could do it if necessary. He finally tells me to go scratch our team. I do so. Right as I get back into the stands AM finally shows up and coach re-enters our team. We enter past the last minute. I didn't even have time to change into my sweet track spikes. I run a decent 3:12 800, my time could have been better but the 800 is too short for my taste anyway. I think we came in last for the relay, but hey how many teams went through the shit we did?

But wait, It gets better! So while AM is running the last leg A starts walking over to me and C is sitting on the ground. (Oh just to clarify here is the order of who ran, C,ME,A,AM) A starts to puke.. It was yellow and slightly see through. I turn to the stands and shout to the first person I see, "DAD!" I start flailing my arms. I finally see the coach K and I motion for her to come over and I also shout, "A puked!" As I look back to attend to A C starts in with her own vommitting... Hers looked like mexican food. K finally gets over and starts taking care of my teammates. AM finally finishes her 800 and Coach DM makes his way over. He starts laughing, he has a weird sense of humor. Anyway he tells me to lead AM and A on a recovery jog since AM and I feel fine and A had started to feel better. Well after about 20 feet A falls back, I later find out she's puking again.

So after that mess I'm waiting in the stands because I have some time before I need to prepare for my 1600. I'm hanging with my freshmen crew because all my sprinter friends are well, sprinting. DM then asks if I can take C's place in the 200 meter x 200 meter x 400 meter x 800 meter relay. I say sure. It would be after my 1600 and therefore suck, but hey whatever. I lead AM on a warm up for a 1600 (yes after running an 800 i need to warm up for the 1600. The race actually went really well, on a strict time basis I got a 7:12, which with finishing last season with a 7:00 isn't bad at all. But the best part of the whole race was well, my race. There's no way to put this in words, but I'll try. When I was racing (this time with my sweet silver spikes) I saw people and thought, 'I can pass her' and then I would. I did this a lot through out the race and I came in 5th out of 10. A number I can count on one hand! WOW!! I was in the top half. YAY!

Anyway I hung out with the sprinters who were in the 2x2x4x8 with me. I realized somehting, sprinters do not warm up like I do. They thought I'd get tired from the warm ups I was doing but I don't think I warmed up enough actually. This 800 was much slower at a 3:20 and I believe we came in 4th, but when I got the baton we were in 3rd. I felt terrible after that last run. I wanted to crash down hard. But then again I was the only person who had run 1 1/2 miles already. At least now I think the head coach appreciates me andDM kept mentioning my exploits at practice on tuesday.

Well, I think this post is long enough for now.

Song of the Day- In the End-Linkin Park (just bought on Itunes, love it!)

PS: I tried to make all of those links above HTML but it wasn't working... Sorry :)