I Can't Believe I Watched the Whole Thing...

So last night my boyfriend and I were flipping channels wating for our new favorite show The Borgias and Twilight was on. Normally I would have kept flipping through but my boyfriend, who has no real knowledge about Twilight other than what I've told him, said, "Oh, lets watch it for the hell of it."

I think he began to regret that decision almost instantaneously. Thankfully I knew what to anticipate. A little too well. I hate being able to quote movies I've only seen once. In fact one quote I made during the evening was, "I'm doing lines of Twilight....Is that like doing lines of crack?"

It really started with Edward's line of "I feel very protective of you." This line came before they even started dating and before she began to like him in that fashion. Later, Skippy (the boyfriend) started throwing a fit (about 2.5 on the Dune film scale) about Bella wandering off into the woods with Edward when she doesn't even trust him and is pretty sure he's going to kill people and has no reason to trust him.

He started asking why Bella was doing such stupid shit and I had to answer with the in-book correct answer, "She loves him." He seemed confused so I continued, "She's known him for a month and is head over heels in love with him. They're soulmates." Now I don't buy into this at all, I have mad my disdain of these books clear, but this was the intent.

We went the rest of the night making snarky comments about the questionable quality of the "Twilight Saga" (which is in no way a saga, but I digress). Mostly he questioned, "Why are things moving so fast?" "What was the point of that?" "Why aren't these valid claims being listened to?" "What happened to their powers?" To which I had entirely too much fun providing the 'in book logic' "Because it's meant to be!" "To show how "silly" they (the normal humans she shirks off) are." "Because that character is blonde, therefore a bitch." "Hell if I know. That wouldn't have worked in the book."

Yeah, on top of being based off a shitty book Twilight is an even shittier movie that defies it's own 'logic' quite frequently and if possible makes the rest of the plot even worse. Without the purple prose giving a false sense added time the movie moves at breakneck pace truly demonstrating the wrecklessness of the characters. God knows what this is going to do come Breaking Dawn.

This quickly turned into a fun comparison game between Twilight and the Borgias (most definitely not what Stephenie Meyer would approve of), which I will demonstrate thus:

Edward Cullen gives bad reasoning for falling 'in love' (The afore mentioned "I feel protective of you" line.)
Rodrigo Borgia gives bad reasoning for falling 'in love' ("She needed my help!")
Edward Cullen is an American played by a British actor, Robert Pattinson.
Rodrigo Borgia is a Spaniard played by a British actor, Jeremy Irons.
Edward Cullen is a man from the early 1900's caught in a modern world and is an outsider, who could easily rule the world.
Rodrigo Borgia is a man from Spain caught in the city states of Italy and is an outsider, who is the POPE back when that mattered.
Edward Cullen is a Vampire.
Rodrigo Borgia is a priest (same thing).

One of these men is romanceable, with reasoning behind his motives and an interesting, if flawed, character that allows you to question your morality and faith. The other is Edward Cullen.

Which really shows, if you are trying to create a romantic lead, he shouldn't be comparable to a borgia unless that's your intent (meaning intentionally creating a questionable figure, not creating a questionable figure and claiming he isn't.)